Inner Demons
by phantomann
Summary: Pre Eclipse. Bella and Edward discover that sometimes the worst enemies come from within. Can another vampire claim Bella? Or will something far more dangerous consume her? Rating may change upward as story progresses.
1. Chapter 1

I really wanted to let out a loud cheer when I finally opened the box of lanterns. However, I was feeling pretty low on energy and my victory was bittersweet. My hand scratched absentmindedly at the blood tinged bandage on my left wrist. It was only a matter of time that I injured myself on the job and I should just know better than to wield a knife. I had been attempting to open the Fort Knox of lanterns with Mike's pocket knife when I had a dizzy spell. I felt the puncture wound and then I smelled the sickening metallic odor. I thought I was going pass out, but thankfully Mike had been in the next aisle and he once again played medic to me. He took one look at my cut and wanted to rush me to the hospital, but my pride screamed no because I knew that Carlisle would be there. I was too embarrassed to bring him yet another wound. Besides, I was feeling pretty weary and the thought of the trip seemed overwhelming. Mike patched me up and made me promise not to slit my wrists again on his watch. I laughed and told him that I didn't have a death wish. Ironically, that was only partly true

I sighed as I looked up at the top shelf and realized that I needed to fill that empty space with these lanterns. I just did not have the energy for it and my dizzy spells came more frequently. The coughing was new though, starting only this morning. I was thinking that my dizziness came from not eating enough breakfast, but that might not be true because these dizzy spells have been going on for a while now. Perhaps it was stress. I mean, who could blame me for being stressed. I was dating a vampire, my best friend was a werewolf, a vengeful vampire wanted me dead, and a bunch of super vampires from Italy were going to visit me any day now. That is not even counting the 'normal' teenage angsts. I very rarely got sick and the thought of the inconvenience of getting ill was depressing. As I started climbing the step ladder to shelve the lanterns, I started coughing rather loudly. I saw Mike round the corner and say something to me, but I could not hear him over the thunder of my hacking. He folded his arms and waited for silence.

"You ok?" Mike asked again.

"Uh, yeah. I think so," I gasped. I had just finished hacking up a lung and was trying to catch my breath. I threw him a weak smile in an attempt to convince him that I was ok.

Mike furrowed his brows and shook his head slightly. The dubious look stayed on his face until I started coughing again. "Bella. Go home. You sound awful."

_Well, I feel awful too_, I thought. But, I shook my head. I still had another two hours to go and even though I was feeling worse by the minute, I felt obligated to stay as long as I was still standing. I had started feeling crummy when I woke up this morning, but I had attributed my lethargy to my late night with Edward and the fact that he was not there when I woke up. Waking up without him by my side always made me feel a little lonely, but I would never really admit that to him. I hadn't started coughing until just before coming into work, and the more I coughed, the weaker I felt.

Seeing that I was not wavering on my commitment, Mike placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me in the direction of the door.

"Bella. Please, go home. There is only one customer in the store and it is slow enough in here that, in actuality, you are losing me money by staying. Trust me. Go!"

I ducked out of his hands to get my bag as we passed the front counter. He was about to protest when I held my hands up in surrender.

"Fine! I'm going! See?"

I held up my backpack and smiled. In actuality, I was glad to be off the hook, but the thought of having less money in my paycheck this week made me even sadder than shirking my responsibility because I had promised Alice that I would finally go shopping with her before spring break.

As if he could read my mind, Mike added, "Don't worry, you can make up the hours later. Just go home and rest. You look awful. Believe it or not, but you are paler than your boyfriend!"

Before I could answer with one of my classic albino jokes, another coughing attack rattled my chest, so I just waved goodbye with my injured hand as I swung the door open and stepped outside. The cool breeze sent shivers running through my body and I rubbed my arms in vain trying to warm myself. Before getting into the truck, I pulled my cell phone out of my jeans. I hurried into the truck and cranked the heat to max. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and realized at that moment just how bad I felt. I flipped open my phone to dial Edward's number, but I found it difficult because my fingers were trembling. I was finally able to dial the right number on my second attempt, but when he didn't answer, I just hung up. I didn't even feel like leaving a message. My head was pounding and I felt as though my body had been hit by a mack truck. Several times. Knowing that I was getting worse by the minute, I decided to try to get home as fast as possible. With my hands clenched to the steering wheel, I started for home. Before long my shivering turned to sweats so I turned down the heat and cranked open the window a little. I had never felt this way before and with the sudden onset of symptoms, I was sure that I had the flu. I longed to crawl under my sheets and sleep. Within a couple of miles, I found it hard to focus on the road. I was about half way home when the front tire ran onto the soft shoulder and the truck shuddered on the uneven dirt as I eased it to a stop under a large oak tree. After shifting into park, I unfastened my seat belt and laid out on the front seat. I was getting cold again, but I was too weak to close my window. I gazed up through the windshield at the grey sky and wondered where Edward was. The light grew dim as I watched the branches of the giant oak tree sway gently back and forth. Though my brain was screaming at me to sit up and drive or at least call Edward again, my body refused to cooperate. My chest ached from coughing and breathing seemed to be more difficult. This sudden illness had me worried that perhaps I would not live to see immortality. My eyes slowly closed and all my worries melted away into a numb sleep.

Somewhere in my dreams a car door slammed followed by the sound of gravel crunching. I thought that it was kind of funny to be dreaming about such mundane things when I had such fantastical things like vampires and werewolves to delight in. But the sudden cool air stirred me from my rather ordinary dreams and I opened my eyes. My head throbbed still and my eyesight was blurry, but I could make out a dark shape peering in at me.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi all! This is my first time publishing a story. I have been on Fanfiction for a couple of years now, but I mainly haunted the Phantom of the Opera section. When I read (and reread) all three Twilight books, I became enthralled with Edward and Bella. So, here is my story. It is written first person from Bella's point of view, until the very end that is. Then I give Edward his chance. I combined some classical vampire elements with the vampires created by Stephenie. It is a ExB story, because I see no other way! So enjoy and I look forward to feedback!_

Chapter 2 Awakenings

"Bella! Bella! What's wrong?" The heavenly voice strained. I smiled because even in my dreams I heard that angelic voice. I moaned a response. I opened my eye for just a peek and I saw the man of my dreams looking at me with such concern. I smiled slightly and sighed his name.

Before I could sit up, I was lifted up and cradled in to Edwards chest. The coolness of his body felt so good against the heat of mine.

"You're burning up!" he exclaimed with a tinge of panic.

Then I felt him pick my injured wrist and turn it. "What happened to you today?" he whispered.

I mumbled, "Bad day."

"Hmmmm…" he said. "I'm taking you to Carlisle."

Before I could protest, he had me out of my truck and was carrying me carefully to his car. I must have fell asleep again because the next thing I remember was being laid on a bed that crinkled. The smell of alcohol and bleach made my head spin. I groaned. I had successfully managed to avoid this place just hours earlier with Mike. No such luck now, however.

I tried to sit up but Edward just pushed me gently down. "No. I don't think so, Bella. Carlisle is on his way."

I watched him grab a wash cloth and wet it down in the sick. After wringing it out, he placed it on my forehead. The coldness of it made me jump and sharp pains shot around my head.

He kept his hand on it knowing that I would try to take it off. "It's for the fever," he explained.

"What about Tylenol?" I asked. I hated to admit that the cool cloth felt good against my hot forehead.

"An old fashioned remedy. Relax, Bella. Carlisle is almost here." His eyes were filled with tension and uncertainty.

"And why couldn't we see Carlisle at home? I hate hospitals," I faintly protested. I did not have the energy to complain too much, but I wanted my opinion heard. In fact, I did not have the energy to even remain awake and I drifted off to sleep.

I heard Edward call my name and I felt him shake my shoulders, but the draw of sleep was too much for me to resist and he along with the hospital faded.

"Bella. Bella.? Wake up. You gotta wake up now." Edward's voice pulled me from the chasm I was resting in.

"Please, Bella. I love you so much." His voice pleaded with me now and I sensed such worry in his tone.

Though I could not find my voice, I moaned slightly to let him know that I heard him. I felt his cold hand brush my cheek and I turned my face into his palm. His smell was so good.

"Oh Bella." He whispered.

Where was I? It was too bright for home and it certainly wasn't my room at Charlie's. I struggled to sit up but I was hindered. My eyes snapped open. I reached to pull out the canula from my nose, but Edward swiftly diverted my hands into his. Carefully brushing my hair from my face he sat down on the bed next to me.

Tubes and wires ran from me to the machines and IV bags that cluttered the floor around my bed. What led to me being here finally started coming back to me and I allowed myself to relax against the cool white sheet.

"How are you feeling, love?"

I took a quick inventory of how I felt and I could not find anything that really hurt except for a faint headache and the heavy feeling of someone who has been aseep for a long while.

I licked my dry lips and whispered, "Fine. Headache. How long have I been out?"

He smiled slightly. "About two hours. You just missed Carlisle. He will be happy to see you are awake."

"What happened?" I remembered leaving work and then Edward coming to the truck. I reached up for the wash cloth, but it was no longer on my forehead.

"Oh," I said. "What did Carlisle say?"

Edward was about to answer, but was cut off when Carlisle walked in.

"Hey, Bella!" Carlisle exclaimed. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"

"Ok, considering I am in the hospital with all of this." I motioned to the wires and tubes that were connected to me.

"Well, I am still waiting on a couple of the tests, but it looks like you have the flu."

My face brightened. "Really? That's great! Can I go home then?

Carlisle chuckled. "Well, not so fast. You need rest. You are feeling better right now because of the pain meds and the IV fluids And, the flu can be pretty serious. You apparently wore yourself out and got dehydrated." He gave me a disapproving look and then motioned to the IV pole by my bed. "That needs to go through and then another bag. It'll probably take about three hours."

I sighed and looked at Edward. "You'll stay with me, wont you?"

"Of course," he replied.

Carlisle smiled and wrote some notes on my chart. "I'll be back in about an hour." He turned to Edward, "Make sure she rests."

He was almost out of the door when he turned around. "Oh, one more thing. What happened to your wrist? It looks like a puncture wound."

"Ugh." I had wanted to avoid Carlisle on this matter of embarrassment. "Well, it wasn't on purpose, if that is what you are asking. I was opening a box of lanterns when, uh, my hand slipped and I stabbed myself." I smiled sheepishly. I left out the part of feeling dizzy. I didn't want any more tests done on me.

"Well, I put a couple of stitches in it. You should have come to me about that regardless of your other illness. It might not have healed well otherwise." He looked at me intently for a fraction of a second and then turned to leave.

Edward leaned back and rested his head next to mine.

"I guess I don't have to worry about you catching what I have, huh?" I turned to lean my cheek against his.

"No." I felt him smile, but he was still tense.

I felt the need to reassure him. "You know, I'll be ok. It's just the flu. No big deal." I immediately cringed when I felt him stiffen. Images of Edward in a hospital bed dying from the flu filled my head.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered. I couldn't imagine what it was like for Edward. He lost both his parents and was mortally ill with the same disease. I couldn't even allow myself to imagine losing my parents like that. I will always thank fate that Carlisle was his doctor.

"It's ok Bella. I know that medicine has advanced light years since then, but…" His sweet voice cracked. "I…I just cant help but to worry about you. You know that. I cant lose you."

I snuggled as close as I could against him and I felt him slowly relax. We stayed like that for a while.

"What was it like, Edward?" I softly asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you don't talk much about your life back then. What kind of things did you enjoy doing? Did you have any pets?" I paused, because the next question I wanted to ask was one that I might not want an answer to. It was silly, considering how long ago it was, but something inside of me did not want to necessarily hear the answer. "And, did you have a girlfriend?"

Edward was silent for a moment. "Well, do you really want to know?"

"Yes," I lied.

"Hmmm… I enjoyed reading and music. I read Pride and Prejudice back then."

"Really? That is kinda weird. Neat, but weird."

"I was a star track and field runner. I guess that is no surprise, really." He was silent once more and I wished that I could read his mind. "As far as pets go, I did have a dog. His name was Justice. My dad named him, being a lawyer and all."

"What kind of dog?"

"Golden lab."

"Cute."

He paused and studied my face. He was thoughtful for a moment and I was wondering if he was going to respond to my last question. I held my breath.

"And, to answer your last question, no, I did not have a girlfriend. There was one girl, Grace, who my parents wanted me to court, but I was too interested in the war. Girls never were a priority in my life. Until you, that is."

I snorted lightly. I still could not understand that. After a hundred years, why me? He must have met thousands of girls, human and otherwise and he picked me. That truth will always elude me, I think. I wanted to ask him about his change, but I know that is one thing he doesn't talk about

A soft knock at the door broke me from my thoughts. Edward sat up and went to the door inhumanly fast. Before opening the door, he turned to me and said, "Ugh. I'll be back in a minute."

He opened the door to let Mike in and then excused himself. Mike was carrying a small boquet of wild flowers. He seemed apprehensive as he walked toward me. His eyes darted between the monitors and IVs.

"Hey Bella. I got these for you." He shrugged and placed them on my bed where Edward had been laying.

"Thanks Mike." I was annoyed with him for interrupting my conversation with Edward.

"Why are you here?" I hoped I didn't sound too harsh.

"I, uh, heard from Alice that you were in the hospital here. I was…worried and wanted to make sure that you were ok." He fidgeted a little. "Flu, huh?"

I sighed dramatically. "Yes. I can't wait to leave here. It's nothing too serious." Images of the sick Edward popped into my mind and a pang of sorrow hit my chest.

I reached for the flowers and brought them to my nose. "They smell better than this oxygen, that's for sure!" Since Edward wasn't here, I pulled the oxygen tube down and once again buried my nose in the blooms. "Mmmm much better!"

There was a awkward silence that was finally interrupted by Edward's return.

"Uh, hi Edward." He turned to me and smiled. "I'll get going now. Call me when you get out and feel better. You know… so that I can put you back on the schedule."

Edward waved as Mike quickly exited the room. A soft chuckle escaped Edward as he sat down next to me.

I scrunched up my nose and said, "You know, you could be nice to him. He's harmless."

He picked up the flowers and placed them on the side table.

"Newton irritates me. I don't know if he will ever give up on you."

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"You should hear what he thinks about you. Or me, for that matter. I don't seem to be his favorite." He laughed and his eyes sparkled. My heart skipped a few beats. But he cut his laughter short when he saw that my oxygen was off. He had it back in place before I could even think of protesting.

"Bella," he warned. "Am I going to have to be your nurse 24/7?"

I smiled. "Wow… that would be great!"

His beautiful laugh filled my heart. He laid back down next to me and kissed my cheek. "Rest, my love." He ran his nose down my jawline and into the hollow behind my ear. The heart monitor sent off some loud alarms. "You smell so much better than those flowers."


	3. Chapter 3

I was discharged later that day with a few of the tests pending. Even for a vampire, Carlisle took a lot of my blood. I was really grateful that I was unconscious when they drew it. All the tests thus far pointed to a viral infection, so I was sent home with a decongestant and a pain killer. Charlie tried to do the best that he could to take care of me, but it was obvious that he was uncomfortable with the whole nursemaid role. Luckily my appetite was low because all Charlie managed to fix for me was Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup. Edward was always present with me and supplemented my diet with some muffins and bagels that he snuck in. Laying in bed with Edward beside me for three days was something that I could really get used to and I decided that being sick definitely had its benefits.

Monday was coming up fast. It was the day I had chosen to go back to school and I was already far behind on my homework. Edward assured me that once I was fully recovered that he would work with me to catch me up.. I wasn't too concerned about that because I figured that at some point in my life as a vampire that I would be doing senior year again.

I rolled over and pressed my face into Edward's chest. Even through his button down shirt I could smell the sweet aroma of his skin. The coolness of his skin eased the ache in my head slightly. My coughing and vomiting had disappeared, but my headache persisted. The painkillers helped a little with the throbbing headache and made it so that life was bearable. I didn't tell Edward how often I was taking the pain killers because I didn't want him to worry. Besides, I wanted to be as pain free as possible during my little sick vacation with Edward.

I pressed my lips to his collar bone and I felt him tense. My lips curled into a sly smile as I continued to kiss him along his exposed skin. I loved being able to make him feel good; to feel loved. For as inferior as I felt compared to him, this one thing that I could do for him made me feel more significant.

"Oh Bella," he sighed into my hair. He returned the kisses on the top of my head as he pulled me closer.

I ran my nose along his jawline like he often does to mine. I tried to imagine what it would be like for him to do that to me; to feel the almost irresistible draw to the blood flowing just fractions of an inch away. I wiggled a little out of his hold so that I could reach further.

When my nose skimmed his ear, I whispered, "I love you, Edward. You are my life."

He exhaled slowly and he pulled me so that he was looking me directly in the eyes. Our faces were only inches apart and his cool breath tickled my lips. His eyes searched mine and I was instantly held captive by their black depths. There was so much love and admiration in them that I almost forgot to breathe.

I felt his fingers weave through my hair and I leaned back into his hand, exposing my neck to him. A low growl escaped from him and I felt him tense a little. I had fully surrendered myself to him and part of me ached for him to bite me so that I could belong to him forever. His grip in my hair tightened ever so slightly and he pulled me towards his cool lips. I shuddered as I felt his lips press small kisses to my neck and I allowed myself to melt into his embrace. He whispered my name over and over again as his kisses became more urgent. Even though I was pressed close to his cold body, my whole being was on fire. Wherever his coldness touched mine, my skin burned with a fever that felt so very good. Edward pulled away just enough to once again look into my eyes. His breathing was as ragged as mine and his black orbs were on fire. He looked at me with such intensity that it took my breath away. I could only whisper his name before he crushed his lips against mine. He held me tight and his lips explored mine.

Against what I knew I shouldn't do, I yielded my lips to his and tasted him. I reached around and I pulled him closer, trying desperately to deepen the kiss. I wanted to drown myself in him. He sensed my need and his kisses quickly became less frantic and he pulled back slightly. I sighed heavily and I moaned my disappointment onto his lips. He slowly and ever so lightly traced my lips with his tongue. My lips parted and he leaned into the kiss and moaned. His hand ran down my side and stopped at the top of my pajamas. His hand then followed my waist to the small of my back and he roughly pulled me against him. I inhaled sharply as his cold hand found my bare skin. His tongue explored my mouth, but before I could react, he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine.

He repeated my name in a husky whisper as if it was a prayer. His hand made slow circles on my back and the tip of his fingers found their way just under the waist of my flannel pajamas. I closed my eyes and willed myself to regain control. My heart was beating erratically and I was gasping for air. I knew that we had both just crossed a line that most likely placed my life in danger. But I could not help it. I wanted Edward with my whole being, both body and soul and to resist an attraction—a need—like what I felt for Edward was near impossible. At this moment I was almost ready to trade my life to experience what it would be like to be one with Edward, but I knew that it would shatter his heart if he accidentally hurt me. I did not want him ever to have to seek out the Volturi again.

"Edward," I sighed.

I wanted him to know how I felt, but I was deathly embarrassed to speak the words. We had sort of skirted the issue of our intimacy a few times already, but the answer was always a resounding 'no' from him. But, I never really told him how much I wanted—no, needed—him. And, at this moment, I felt the incredible desire to tell him, though I am sure that he sensed it just moments ago.

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

"I, I, love you so much. I truly want to be with you, so much in fact, it hurts. To spend eternity with you, to be by your side forever, to _be_ with you."

I paused and searched his expression to see if he understood my meaning, but I wasn't sure. I tore my eyes from his gaze and focused instead on his slightly parted lips.

"I, I _want_ you, Edward. _All_ of you." I hoped that he would understand me this time, because I did not really want to come out and say it. I was too horrified for something like that.

He reached his hand to lay on my cheek and he slid down on the pillow so that our eyes were even again.

"Bella, you know that we can't…I can't… allow that to happen. I would be so afraid that I would hurt you."

Though I knew intellectually why he was rejecting me, my heart and self esteem broke just a little. My lips turned into a small frown and I fought the tears that started to well in my eyes.

"Oh, love, don't cry. Please, don't cry," he pleaded with me.

His thumb wiped away a tear before it could find its way down my cheek. I looked away. I knew I shouldn't react this way, but damn my human hormones.

"It hurts," I admitted

"It's not you. Oh God, Bella. It's not you. Please believe me! You have no idea how much I want you too. How much my whole body yearns for you. But, I just can't risk breaking you, Bella. I am so afraid that I would break you," he tried to reassure me, but his voice cracked at the end. I could tell it was painful for his to talk about that possibility.

"I trust you, Edward. You wouldn't hurt me. Please."

He sighed and kissed the tip of my nose. "You have too much faith in my self control. It is not as strong as you think it is."

"I know you wouldn't hurt me," I countered.

"I can't say for sure, Bella. I think that you misplace your trust sometimes. Or trust too deeply." He paused for a moment. "I love you. I do want you too, Bella. But I can't risk your life now. I can wait for you, when you are like me. Please wait with me."

We were silent for a while. I was thinking about what he had said. I knew he wanted me, he was attracted to me. Why, I still could not comprehend, but I knew that at some point in our future together that we would be intimate. That point seemed to be after I was changed and that worried me a little. I knew a little what it was like to be a newborn vampire and I was afraid that my attraction for Edward would not be as strong as my thirst for blood. Or, even worse, I was afraid that once I was changed, that Edward would not be attracted to me. I knew it was silly, but it was still a fear that lingered.

I was afraid to say anything, so I just laid there enjoying his scent and the sensation of his cool breath on my face.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I rolled over to snuggle with him, I found nothing. I sat up slowly and looked around. It was still dark, but I could see a faint glow coming from my window, meaning that sunrise was only a short time away. I squinted and I could make out Edward sitting on the rocking chair. I sensed something was wrong and my heart skipped a beat.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I whispered. I looked around the room quickly in case there was something that I was missing.

He came to sit next to me on the bed. "Nothing's wrong, Bella. I had left for a short time while you were sleeping to go home and change. I was afraid that if I got back in bed with you, that you would wake up," he explained.

There was something else, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. Then I realized that his eyes were a dark coal shade.

"Edward, when was the last time you went hunting?"

He shrugged. "Oh, about ten days ago."

"Go hunting. Please. You have been a terrific nurse, but you shouldn't put yourself through the struggle. Don't hurt yourself because of me." I had a feeling that he was struggling with his thirst for me, especially after last night. I didn't want him to suffer. Especially since it was my fault.

"I'm ok," he tried to convince me.

"I'll call Alice and Emmett and they will carry you away, if they have to. Please. I mean it!"

"I don't want to leave you alone. Besides, I can take them both on. I have before." He flashed me a brilliant smile and for a few moments I was speechless.

"Nice try." I flashed him a quick smile, though it was no where near as dazzling as his.

"I wont be alone. Charlie is here. Esme and Carlisle are around. Besides, how will you ever be able to hunt if you don't leave me alone every once in a while? I'll be ok. I promise. And, if anything should happen, I have a cop and a doctor at my disposal."

I tried to sound lighthearted, but I did not really want him to go away from me anymore than he wanted to go. Though I knew once again that my feelings were irrational, I feared that he would not returned to me if he left, even if it was just a hunting trip.

"I don't want to leave you alone," he repeated.

"I'll be ok. I will be so busy with all the catch up homework that I have to do that I wont even notice you're gone," I lied.

He smiled at me. "Will you promise to go to my house after school to hang out until I get home? We won't go far. We'll be back before the next nightfall. I'll come back soon, I promise." I wondered then if he sensed my fear.

"Yes, I promise. Anything. As long as it gets you to go hunting."


	4. Chapter 4

_Another short chapter. I hope to divide these up into better sections as I go on. Most of the story is written, so I just have to edit and upload! Enjoy!_

A half hour later I was showered and dressed. It felt good to be clean and dressed again. Surprisingly, it did not feel good to wear pajamas all week. I guess that takes out the option of me being a bon-bon eating rich housewife. _Oh well_, I shrugged to myself as I bounded down the stairs.

I found that I was hungry for the first time in a week. Aside from getting to spend all my days with Edward, the other benefit of not being hungry all week was that I had lost about five pounds. Edward complained that I was too skinny now. He's crazy. Or, he was playing the role of the good boyfriend and trying to compliment me. Either way, it didn't matter. I felt great. The only thing that still bothered me was the dull pain behind my forehead, but nothing caffeine wouldn't be able to handle I assured myself.

Charlie was placing his cereal bowl into the sick when I rounded the corner.

"Hey Bella! How ya doing?" He looked extremely happy to see me downstairs again. I am betting he was more relieved than anything. My illness had made Charlie feel uncomfortable. He was at a loss as how to care for me. As far as happiness, my guess was that he was most happy about the fact that I would be cooking again. He had been surviving off of diner take outs and frozen dinners.

"I'm actually feeling great! I'm really hungry." I bounced across the kitchen to the pantry and grabbed the Cheerios. Charlie handed me a bowl and spoon as I sat down at the kitchen table.

"You look great Bella. A little pale and thin, perhaps. But I guess that is partly due to my cooking, or lack there-of." Charlie grinned sheepishly.

I poured my cereal and watched him get his gear together as I started in on the Cheerios.

"Well, if the sheriff thing doesn't work out for you, then I am sure that you could make some money selling your cooking services to those who are trying to lose weight, eh?" I chuckled as I tried to picture Charlie with a chef's hat on.

"Oh, Bella. I almost forgot." He handed me a piece of paper with a phone number on it. I took it from him and looked at it with a puzzled expression on my face. I didn't recognize the number.

"It's Jacob's cell phone. He's called a couple of times for you this week. I didn't tell you because I figured that you needed the rest. I know that things between the two of you have been strained since, well, since Edward's return." I hated how Charlie always said Edward's name; he growled it instead of just saying it.

I hated to admit it, but I had been thinking about Jacob a lot recently. I had tried to call him a couple of weeks after he ratted me out about the motorcycle. I guess it was good that I did not speak to him then because I was still angry with him. Charlie had just recently rescinded my house arrest. But, of course, my bad luck had intervened and I got sick just a few weeks after my freedom. I wonder what Jacob wanted. Had he heard about my hospital visit? That was probably it, he was just worried about me.

"Dad, did he say what he wanted?" I tried to feign a casualness in my voice that was not there.

"Nope. He just said that he needed to talk to you and for you to call him as soon as possible." Charlie checked his watch and whistled. "I have to get going. I'm late for the meeting with the circuit judge. See you tonight, Bells." He opened the door and waved.

"Bye," I mumbled as I stared at the piece of paper in my hands. I looked at the microwave clock and picked up the phone. I still had about ten minutes before Edward showed up. Edward would not be crazy about me calling Jacob. In fact, Edward had been quite pleased that I had not heard from Jacob. I wasn't sure if that was because of the whole werewolf/vampire thing or if Edward was experiencing human jealousy. I chuckled at that thought. As if Edward had anything to worry about. It was totally absurd for him to be jealous. I shook my head as the phone started ringing.

A deep husky voice answered after two rings. "Hello?"

Was it Jacob? It kind of sounded like him, but I wasn't sure. I hadn't heard his voice in so long. "Jacob?"

I heard the voice exhale loudly. "Bells? Is it really you?" His voice went up at least two octaves and I could hear his big silly grin.

"Yes. Last time I checked. I got your messages. What's up?"

"I, well, I, wanted to hear your voice. And, I guess I needed to apologize to you again about the whole motorcycle thing." His voice cracked at the end. "I, was trying, to, well, protect you." He stumbled over his words as they spilled at an amazing speed.

I smiled. My anger toward him had faded and now I was just happy to hear his voice again. I didn't realize how much I missed my best friend.

"I'm not mad, Jake. Well, not anymore at least."

"I knew you wouldn't be, Bella. I am just glad to hear it from you. I heard you were in the hospital, and I was worried about you."

The rumor mill is alive and well still. I wonder how he found out. "It was just the flu."

"But, are you ok now?"

"Yes. Only have a slight headache left." I paused a second and then added, "If you were so concerned, why didn't you stop by?"

His voice was so soft that I could barely make out his words. "You know why, Bella. _He_ was there with you, wasn't he? _He_ wouldn't have liked it." I instantly felt my blood pressure rise. This whole eternal enemy thing was getting old and secondly I was really irritated on how the men in my life said Edward's name. It really wasn't difficult to say Edward's name without snarling it.

"Yes, Jake, he was here," I snapped back.

"Oh." He sounded like he was saddened by that obvious fact.

I took a deep breath in and said, "You know, Jake, I really want to be friends with you. But I don't understand why we can't. Why YOU can't, I should say."

"It's not just me, Bella. You know that! Ask that bloodsucker of yours if we can be friends," he barked back.

I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from yelling a string of childish curses on him. It must have been my bad karma that had me fall in love with a vampire and then find a werewolf to be my best friend. I am sure that someone up there was having a big laugh at my expense.

"Jacob Black! You need to grow up! I want us to be friends. Nothing is preventing that except for this, this, stupid rivalry. Grow up! I'm tired of it!" His mouth opened, but quickly shut when I continued my rant. "And another thing. His name, you know, that so called bloodsucker, his name is Edward. Not too difficult to say." The sarcasm in my voice dripped onto the floor. "Would it kill you to be civil?"

The only sound I heard on the other end was heavy breathing. I could feel the anger through the line. I didn't care at the moment. I was really pissed off.

Jake broke the awkward silence after a minute. "You expect me to just sit back and watch? To do nothing? To say nothing? You've got to be out of your mind Bella," he yelled. I moved the phone away from my ear. There wasn't an issue of hearing him at this moment. "Your _bloodsucker _boyfriend is planning to kill you and you are going along with it! Are you _crazy_? Have you totally lost it? Do you really want to be a killer, a monster for all eternity?"

I was speechless. Where did this come from? I just wanted to talk with my friend, not get yelled at. Would it ever work out between us?

"You have no idea what you are talking about.," I whispered fiercely into the phone. "You have no idea."

"Yes, Bella, I do have an idea. More than you." He spat the words at me. A heavy feeling settled in my heart and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes.

"I have to go Jacob. I'm sorry. I really am. I just want to be friends." My voice betrayed my tears.

The fiercness of his voice faded. "Bella, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I…I… want to say so much, but… but…" His voice trailed off. "I'll talk with you later, Bells. I've gotta go to. Please be careful. Don't do anything yet, please. Promise me."

Though he was vague, I knew exactly what he meant. It would be no problem making this promise because Edward was delaying any change until after graduation. If it had been totally my decision, then I would already be like Edward.

"I promise."

"Bye, Bells. I'm sorry once again. I'm… it was really good to hear your voice again."

"Bye Jacob," I said softly as I hung up the phone.

I stood there staring at the phone for a long minute. I replayed the conversation and tried to ascertain how I felt about it. I felt sadness at the state of our friendship, but the primary feeling was anger. I was really upset about the whole eternal feud thing and the fact that my boyfriend and best friend wanted to, quite literally, kill one another. My good mood was gone and all I wanted to do was crawl back under the covers. But before I could fully entertain that idea, Edward knocked softly on the door.

I grabbed my backpack and flung it over my shoulder. I yanked the door open and muttered a hello as I walked past him to his car. He was already opening the car door before I got there and I climbed in with a quick thank you.

He turned to me and studied me with a worried expression. I just sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said a little too quickly and harshly. I didn't want to discuss it at the moment; I was still too mad. Besides, I knew that Edward would give me an earful about the dangers of werewolves and in particular, Jacob. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore today. I almost regretted calling Jacob his morning. Almost. But it _was_ nice to hear his voice again.

He raised an eyebrow at me and turned back to the road. I sighed again and leaned back into the soft leather seat and closed my eyes.

"Are you feeling ok? Are you sure you're up to going to class again? I can get Carlisle to write you an excuse for a longer time period."

"No, I'm fine. Really." I couldn't lie and say that I didn't have a good nights sleep. And, I didn't have the guts to mention my conversation with Jacob, so I just left it as that.

"Bella. Don't hide anything from me."

I felt a pang of guilt. We were pulling into our usual parking space when I saw Alice bounding over to us with a big smile on her face. Saved by the beautiful pixie! Thank you, Alice!

Edward looked annoyed. I was out of the car in record time and was hugged fiercely by Alice before I could get my backpack out.

"Hi Alice." I couldn't help but to smile at her energy level. It was as contagious as her smile.

"Sure, smile at my sister, but not at me," Edward grumbled as he handed me my bag.

Alice looked at him expectantly. I knew that they were communicating, so I waited patiently to find out what the excitement was all about.

"Yeah! Ok… here Bella." She handed me an envelope and literally bounced up and down while I opened it. My morning was just getting worse and worse. I hated getting gifts, especially from the Cullens. They have given me so much already. Like my life and the love of my life. I had all I needed from them. _Almost_, I added. There was still one gift that I wanted from Edward, but it looked like I was going to have to wait on that one.

In the envelope were four tickets to Phantom of the Opera in Seattle. My eyes grew wide. My mom would die when she found out that I had these tickets. I had told Alice that it was one of my favorite musicals thanks to my mom. My mom had been obsessed by the whole so called romantic love story between a so called monster and a pretty opera singer. The music had grown on me and when we started studying broadway in music class, I chose Phantom to do a report on. Now that I was actually going to see it, I knew that I could ace my paper.

"Wow… thank you!" I murmured.

"It's opening night! It's going to be a huge gala! And, the best part… I get to dress you up!" She clapped her hands and looked like she just won the lottery.

Suddenly, my excitement waned. "Alice," I warned. "I'm not your Barbie doll." I gave a pleadful look to Edward and he just smirked.

"Sorry, Bella. It was partly my idea too. I knew you were writing your report on it and then when the opportunity came up to go to opening night, I agreed." He smiled his dazzling smile. "I really want to see you all dressed up again. You looked so amazing at prom. I, well, am being selfish. I cant wait to see you in your gown.."

I stared at him. I was trying to decide once again how I felt. It had been a very emotional morning so far. I decided that in the whole scheme of things, going to see the Phantom and having Alice dress me up wasn't the worst thing. But, I wasn't going to let them off the hook easily.

"Ugh. Alice! Edward! Why?" I tried to sound exasperated. "Fine, but the two of you owe me. Big time." Alice squealed and Edward looked relieved.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning didn't get any worse. Well, unless you count the mountain of homework that I realized that I had to do in order to catch up. Lunch time did not come soon enough, and I was relieved when I finally got to sit down in the lunch room. I watched Edward walk over with a tray full of food. I usually didn't bother getting my own food, I just ate Edward's prop food.

Edward slid into the seat next to me and nudged the tray of cafeteria food in my direction. I shook my head at him and sighed.

"What?" he asked.

"Three slices of pizza, two sodas, tater tots and chicken nuggets?" I lifted my eyebrows in disbelief.

"Well, I wasn't sure what you wanted and I have to keep up appearances, you know. I am a growing teenager and my appetite is big." He flashed his bright white teeth in a mock smile.

I laughed as I reached for the soda and nuggets. I leaned closer to him and asked, "Don't you ever miss eating real food?" I wondered if I would miss it.

"No, not really. They didn't have this kind of food when I was, uh, younger."

"Hmmm." I leaned back and took a nibble. I certainly didn't think that I would miss _this_ food.

I finished my meal in silence as I watched Edward and Alice discuss their upcoming hunting trip. I couldn't hear all of it because they were murmuring in a hurried and quiet manner. I picked up that they were going to a state park somewhere near the Canadian border. He had hoped to stay local, but Alice did not see them catching much of anything larger than fox around here. Alice seemed excited by the possibilities of large game while Edward expressed concern over the distance they would have to travel. He said something about leaving me and my bad luck alone too long. I actually concurred and preferred that he stay local, but I would never voice my concerns. I still had a hard time believing that he would actually come back when he left me for these trips. My fear of abandonment was still alive and well, unfortunately.

I studied his features and wondered what he looked like before changing. Would I have recognized him? Esme mentioned that somewhere there was a picture of Edward with his parents that was taken about a year before his change but Edward said he didn't know where it was. I wonder what I would look like. I was hoping for more feminine attributes, if you know what I mean.

Edward turned his attention to me and smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out. You mentioned earlier today that there was something that you wanted to ask me?"

"Oh, well, it doesn't really matter. Nothing big," I lied.

Guilt over not telling Edward about my conversation with Jacob consumed me. I had tried to tell him about it at the start of lunch, but Alice decided to sit with us today since Jasper was held up in class. But now, I didn't feel so good about telling him. I didn't want our last discussion before he left to be about Jacob, especially since I knew that it would not go very well.

"So, do you two think that you will get some big game?" I asked. I hope that he didn't pick up on my not too subtle change of topics. Small talk was never my forte.

Edward narrowed his eyes and stared at me. That familiar look of frustration flashed in his eyes briefly and I could tell he was once again wishing that he could read my mind.

"Oh, I hope so! But, I would put my money on Edward here getting at least two mountain lions. I saw at least one," Alice chimed in, oblivious to Edward's frustration.

I smiled at her, hoping that Edward would just drop it. But, when I glanced at him quickly out of the side of my eyes, I could see that he was still studying me.

Edward cleared his throat. "Bella. What are you not telling me?"

"Well, a lot I guess. Like, for instance, I shamefully stole a pencil from the dollar store when I was five." I smiled weakly. Maybe humor would deter him.

Narrowing his eyes, he just shook his head and mouthed the word 'later' to me.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Alice and Edward decided it was best to leave right after school, which was a relief to me since I didn't have that car ride alone with him. Not that I wouldn't have minded the alone part, but I was not looking forward to the talking part. He had already arranged with Angela to give me a ride home. She was thrilled and promised to buy me a soda on the way home.

It was drizzling as Edward walked me to my last class. Before I could get to the doorway, Edward pulled me around the corner and pushed me against the cold brick wall. His face was suddenly inches from mine and his sweet breath made my head swim. He gazed intently into my eyes as he leaned toward me. His lips brushed mine as his tongue quickly traced my lips. I sighed into his mouth as I reached around to pull him closer. He allowed me to hold him for a few moments before he gently but firmly pushed me away. His eyes still held mine as we reluctantly parted. I was embarrassed how erratic my breathing was. I hoped he didn't notice. But I knew that he did. He said that it was part of my charm.

"I'll miss you, you know that. Even though I leave, you still keep my heart." He kissed the back of my hand.

"I know. It's still hard to say goodbye. Hurry back. And, be safe."

He raised his eyes at that last request. "It is you that I should demand that of, I believe." He smirked. "Which, reminds me. You did agree to spend the evening with Esme and Carlisle. They are expecting you."

I frowned up at him. "Yeah, well.." I hated the feeling that I was being babysat. But, when I saw the look in Edward's eyes, I knew that if I did not agree to his terms that he would not go. "Ok. Tell Esme I will be there by dinnertime. Uhh.. around 6pm I should say."

"Good. They are already expecting you. Dinner is fine. They have pizza for you." He smiled at my reaction to that. Vampires, cooking? I was fairly amused. He must have read my reaction, because he added with a smile, "Take out."

"Well, then. I'll be there." I stood on my tip toe and gave him a quick peck on the lips. I was already a minute late for class. "I love you, and hurry back!"

"I will," he whispered. "I love you too." He slowly took a step back and let my hand drop from his. I slowly turned to go, not really wanting to say goodbye. I looked back and he was already gone.

It was nice to spend time with Angela. She almost made me forget Jacob and my sadness over Edward leaving. Almost. Angela had been relating how her boyfriend spilled soda and popcorn on two rather large guys at the movies last weekend and through my tears of laughter I saw Seth walk in. My laughter suddenly stopped and I quickly ducked behind the menu. Angela got some amusement out of it, especially when I refused to put the menu down until Seth left. Luckily for me, he was just getting carry out. My thoughts instantly returned to Jacob and I grew noticeably quiet. Angela kept asking me questions about my reaction to one of the reservation kids, but I just shrugged my shoulders. I was getting to be a pro at evading conversation.

After she dropped me off at home I put in a couple of loads of laundry. I found a note from Charlie on the refrigerator saying that he was working overnight and that he would try to call later. Suddenly going to the Cullen's didn't seem so bad. I did not want to be alone in the house. Then I felt silly when I realized that with the enemies that I had, being afraid of being alone overnight didn't seem so irrational. I ran upstairs and packed an overnight bag. I left a note for Charlie stating that Edward was out camping and that I was going to spend the night at Alice's for a girl's night. I did not want to lie directly about the fact that Alice was not going to be there, but if he wanted to assume that the girl's night included Alice, then so be it. I grabbed a bottle of water and locked up.

I started up the truck and headed out to the Cullen's. I looked at my watch and realized that I was going to be an hour early, even driving at my 'tediously slow' human speed. I didn't really want to turn back, so I continued on hoping that Jasper or Emmett were home.

I was about two miles from the turn off to the Cullen's when I heard an explosion and my truck shuttered violently. It lurched to the side and I tried in vain to keep it on the road. I stepped on the brake with all my weight as I yelled some rather off color expletives.

With the truck safely stopped, I turned the ignition off, closed my eyes and sighed. My eyes remained closed until I got my heart rate under control and then I got out of my truck, every move deliberately slow as to not let my anger get the best of me. I did not want one of my headaches to flare up with the rise of my blood pressure. It was bad enough having to deal with this situation without having to do it through a fog of pain. I looked up at the clouds and judged by the darkening dreariness that sunset was soon. I glanced quickly at the woods and got the sense I was being watched. Which was silly, right?

_Bella, don't go into the woods by yourself. There are worse things than me out there. _

Glancing down at my front tire I was shocked to see my tire was not flat at all, but entirely shredded. I studied the road behind me to discover what I could have hit that would have caused that severe of damage. They were new tires; Jacob had put them on right before Alice returned. How could I have had a blowout? It was a wonder I kept the truck under control.

_Bella…._

My head snapped up and I looked into the woods directly in front of me. I narrowed my eyes and peered into the dark woods. It must have been my imagination. Did I just…

_Bella…_

Again, faintly, I heard my name. This time from the woods directly behind me. I spun around and whispered "Who's there?" not really wanting an answer. My head started pounding.

I did a quick calculation and realized that Carlisle probably wouldn't be coming through here for at least 45 minutes. Perhaps longer. Before, I was settled on waiting here by my truck for him to help, but now I didn't think waiting here was such a good idea. I heard a twig snap to my left.

A sigh came from my right. Then just as fast

_Oh, Bella…. _

This time the breathy voice was directly behind me. I wasn't imagining things. I involuntarily closed my eyes and my head slowly sank. I willed myself to turn around, but my legs were too terrified to move. I felt the cold breath on my neck. Between that and the speed of movement, I knew it could mean only one thing. I thought about running, but I knew it was futile. Even though my head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice, I knew somehow that the pain I was about to experience would be far worse. Poor Edward.

Without moving, I asked, "Why?"

A chuckle.

My heart was pounding. I felt faint, but I refused to give into the darkness.

I finally regained control of my legs and I slowly turned to face my fate.

I was hoping with all my heart that it was Jasper or Emmett playing some sort of cruel trick on me. I had almost made myself believe that it was one of them that I would see when I finally made my fateful turn. Almost…

Instead what I saw terrified me. His jet black hair was messy and shoulder length. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. _His eyes._ They were not the gentle amber color I have grown to love and adore, but they were a deep burgundy. My body shuddered at the implication of that. Though his beauty was breathtaking, I knew that it was certainly only skin deep.

_Just part of the bait_… and I was his prey.

He folded his arms and mocked me in a condescending manner. "Bella, Bella Bella…" He started walking in a circle around me, allowing his eyes to roam all over my body.

"You are the talk of the town." He stopped in front of me. "Did you know that?" He smirked. "A growing legend of sorts. You and that _boyfriend _of yours." He spat out the reference to Edward. "That is very unnatural, you know." He shook his head. "Not right at all."

He continued walking. I was concentrating too hard on breathing to make any comments. _Breathe in… Breath out…._

"Victoria said that it would be hard to get to you. With Edward and all." He sighed heavily. "I love challenges, you see. But, I am afraid, you were not much of a challenge after all. I mean, here we are, right?" I could hear the smirk on his face. "You made me so very curious. A _human_. Capturing my utmost attention. Imagine! You should feel honored." He laughed out loud; a long bellowing howl. Then a dark serious expression came across his face suddenly. "James, dead. Laurent, missing. Victoria, in a snit. And then, to top it all off, the Volturi. You s_urvived_ the _Volturi_. Amazing And, you reduced Jane to the _pathetic puppet_ that she is. So, you see, I just had to… experience you."

His cold hand carefully brushed the hair from my shoulder. He leaned in and took a deep breath and whispered.

"And you smell so very, very good."

I was still frozen, my body unwilling to move still. My muscles tightened, waiting for that strike that was sure to come.

"It is a pity to just end it all now. You do make it so difficult to resist and I bet you are just delectable!" I could feel his cold tongue lightly touch my ear, and I pictured a snake tasting its prey before the lethal strike.

"But I traveled all this way. And that boyfriend of yours is no where to be found. What is the fun in that, I say? And what kind of boyfriend is he? Leaving his human girl so alone like this." He paused to take a step back and look at me. "Not a good one at all. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Leave Edward out of this." I managed to say through gritted teeth.

He chucked at my feeble attempt at a threat. "You amuse me so."

I glared at him. He reached his hand behind my head and pulled my face close to his. I could smell his sweet cold breath. Though not as intoxicating as Edward's, I still felt myself become distracted by it. Without meaning to, I breathed a little deeper. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, trying to read his intentions, trying to find a measure of hope in this otherwise hopeless situation. I found none, just a black fathomless depth. Perhaps Edward was right, because in his eyes I saw no soul. I found it impossible to look away. I was being drawn into that void and a strong yearning to become part of that nothingness filled my being.

"What is it about Edward?" He whispered. "Why would the fly fall in love the spider?"

He caressed my cheek with his free hand. "I wonder…could I make the fly love me?"

My eyes closed slowly just as I felt his frigid lips brush mine. Though my brain was screaming for me to run, scream, and kick, I found my body reacting as if it was Edward's hand. My heart was pounding erratically and I feared it would burst. It was from the fear, wasn't it? I had to stop it. This was a trap and against what I wanted, I was falling for the bait.

"Stop," I murmured. I managed to turn my head and take a small step back. He caught my arms in his grasp and roughly pulled me toward him. My head was still turned. I could not, would not look him in the eyes again. His lips grazed the skin of my neck and his breathing came harsher. I knew that this was the end. My last wish was that it would not be as painful as I feared it would be.

"Mmmmm…. So very tempting. But,"

He paused and quickly turned to look down the street. I wondered if someone was coming. _The Cullens?_ His cheek pressed against mine, its coolness keeping me conscious. I felt his mouth turn up at the sides and he let out a low growl that made me shiver. I could not take much more of this. I suddenly became aware of the pounding in my head and my body fought to remain standing. His hands were the only thing keeping me up.

"But…" He continued, "I can be very patient. And I hate to rush through something as good as you. No… there is no rushing with you, is there?"

Just then, I saw what he must have heard; bright lights quickly approaching! A surge of hope flowed through me as I realized that my death might not be so inevitable at this moment. Suddenly, there was a sharp pain on my neck and I was certain that he had bitten me. My breath caught in my throat and I felt his cold tongue lick my neck. He moaned and then harshly pushed himself away from me.

"Until later." He said. And then he was gone. My legs gave out and I fell to my knees.

A cloud of dust enveloped me as the car with the lights skidded to a stop just a few feet from where I kneeled.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Hi all! I hope that you are enjoying the story. This update is a little longer than the prior ones. I skipped updating yesterday so I wanted to make it up. Please review so that I can get some feedback. _

_In the previous chapter, Bella was attacked by another mysterious vampire but saved in the end by a car pulling up….._

"Bella? Carlisle cried. "Bella, are you OK?" He and Esme were at my side immediately.

Esme knelt down and placed her arm around me, allowing me to rest against her shoulder. I could not find my voice to answer them. Instead, my body started to shake uncontrollably.

"She's in shock. We have to get her warm." Carlisle quickly assessed me, looking for any injuries that would preclude them from moving me.

"Blood! There is blood on her neck." Esme gasped. She pulled slightly away from me and turned her face.

"A bite?" Carlisle asked loudly. He swiftly scanned the forest around us.

He gently but quickly moved my head up and to the side to get a closer look.

"Bella. Did you get bit? Is this a bite on your neck?"

I tried to take a deep breath. "I…I…"

"Does it hurt, Bella? Remember the burn? Does it burn?" Carlisle demanded.

"Nn-nnn-nnnn-oooooo. I don't think so." I mumbled. I was shaking so hard that my teeth were rattling. I tried to assess my pain. I did not feel any burning on my neck, just an odd tingling sensation. "My head… my head hurts. Hurts so much." I moaned.

Carlisle rubbed his thumb across the cut and studied it. He then moved his hands over my head feeling for any more injuries.

"Esme, it does not look like a bite. Just a cut. I don't feel anything on her head. Let's get her out of here."

Esme gathered me in her arms and I quickly found myself being laid in the back seat of Carlisle's car. She laid her leather jacket over me. Esme lifted my head onto her lap and started to stroke my hair, attempting to calm me. But I could not stop my body from shaking. I tried to make sense of what just happened. The specifics were becoming harder to focus on, as if a fog bank was slowly rolling into my memory. The only thing that I knew for sure was that he wanted me. My heart painfully skipped a couple of beats. I could recall the mix of emotions that flowed through me while I was with him. Fear, terror, awe, and something else that I could not, or would not admit. I tried hard to remember what he had said to me. Was it the shock? I remember my truck, the road and then losing control. I recalled seeing the tire shredded and then hearing someone calling my name. Oh no….

"Truck… my truck." I groaned.

Carlisle was already pulling away. "Emmett will return for it."

I looked up at Esme and she was looking intently through the trees whizzing by the car.

"What happened, Bella? Was it Victoria?" Esme gently asked, though I could hear the edge in her voice. She never took her eyes away from the window.

"No. A man." I whispered.

"Vampire?"

"Yes."

"Did he have a name?"

I replayed what I could. The fog was thick.

"No. I-I-I don't think so."

"What did he want?" I was sure that they were questioning why I was still alive. I was wondering the same thing. How could someone who has as much bad luck as myself keep surviving these impossible situations?

I squeezed my eyes shut. The terror threaghtened to resurface. My muscles involuntarily tensed, and my breath came in gasps as I fought back sobs. My head throbbed in rhythm with my heart.

"Me." Tears ran down my cheeks, wetting Esme's skirt "Oh God, Esme. He wants me."

She continued to stroke my hair. "You're safe now, Bella. We won't let anything happen to you."

I really wanted to believe her. I could think of a million reasons why they might not be able to keep their promise. There were so many horrifying possibilities, and the worst ones ended with Edward or Charlie getting killed because of me. I couldn't let myself think about that, yet I couldn't get that fear out of my head.

"Edward, where's Edward. I want Edward," I repeated. I couldn't keep myself from saying his name. I needed him so bad. I kept saying his name over and over again in my head; a sort of prayer or chant to keep me sane. He was the grounding that I needed.

"Edward's on his way. Hold on, he'll be here soon," Esme softly answered my whispered chant. "We all love you Bella. You're safe now."

Carlisle carried me into the house and set me down on the sofa. Esme brought a glass of water and handed it to me. I was shaking so bad that water sloshed over the lip of the glass. I must have dropped it, because the now empty glass was in Esme's hand moments later. I stared at the puddle of water at me feet and could not tear my gaze away. Watching it spread over the wood floor towards my foot frightened me. I found it hard to get enough oxygen, as if I was suffocating, so I started gulping air. I clutched my stomach in an attempt to stop the shaking, but it was no use. I was literally falling apart.

I felt Esme's arm come around me and hold me tight against her.

"She's in shock, Esme. Where is Jasper?"

"He called and said that he was on his way. Emmett is coming too." Esme was trying to hold me together, but I was breaking.

"We need Jasper," Carlisle said as he paced to the window to look outside.

"No, we need Edward." _Oh, Edward…_

Carlisle did not say anything.

I grasped my stomach tighter and started rocking back and forth. I was getting lightheaded from breathing hard. Images of my attack started flashing in my mind and I began to sob loudly.

"Oh God… Oh God… Oh God…" I repeated.

I heard the door open and footsteps hurry into the room. I glanced up hopefully, but it was not Edward, but Jasper and Emmet.

There was a buzz of voices that I could not make out. Through my tears I could see their lips moving and their expressions were serious. Even though they were talking to each other, all four of them kept their eyes on me. Jasper walked slowly over and knelt down before me. He pried my hands from my stomach and held them firmly in his grasp.

Immediately I felt my body relax and my shuddering slowed. My arms tingled and my breathing slowed. I knew what Jasper was doing and I was frightened. My eyelids suddenly grew heavy and I found that I could not keep them open. I fought as hard as I could against him because I was so scared of meeting the monster again in my dreams.

"No, not sleep," I murmured as everything faded to a deep, bottomless black.

_The darkness slowly gave way to the meadow that Edward took me to last year. The sun filtered down through the branches and the cool breeze swept past me as I slowly spun around in a circle with my arms open wide. I felt the sun warm my face and I embraced the joy that flowed through me. This was when life was perfect. This was my heaven on earth. I quickly glanced around for my angel. I wanted to see him shine, to radiate. I wanted to embrace him and lose myself in his arms. I caught a glimpse of him with his back to me, sitting among the ferns at the edge of the clearing. Running as fast as my human legs could carry me I fell down onto my knees behind him and threw my arms around his shoulders. _

_I placed my head onto his shoulders and whispered into his ear, "I love you." _

_He slowly turned to face me. My breath caught in my throat. Something was very wrong. The first thing I noticed were his eyes; I could not look away from them. The warm topaz color I adored was now coal black rimmed with a deep red glaze. Framing the eyes were whisps of glossy black hair. A soft chuckle echoed through the clearing. I threw myself back and managed to stagger a few steps away before I felt his hand clamp around my ankle._

"_NO!!!!!! NOOO!!!!!!" I tried jump up but I was being restrained by two cold iron bars. I thrashed violently against my fetters without any success. _

"Bella. Shhhh…. It's OK," My angel!

I slowed my attempts at freedom and willed myself to lean back into his hold. He lifted me and cradled my trembling body. I hid my face in his neck, not wanting him to see the fear in my eyes. The scent of him calmed me and my muscles finally relaxed. I weaved my arms around his chest and pulled myself even closer. His hand rubbed my arm slowly.

"Edward." I sighed.

"Oh, Bella. You're safe now." He hugged me even closer and I found it hard to breathe. But I didn't care because I was safe in his arms. "I love you so much," he breathed. "Please don't worry, you're safe," he repeated. I felt his lips tenderly press down on the top of my head.

I could not answer him, so I snuggled closer to him. I truly felt safe at this very moment. It was then that I realized what my death would do to Edward. A sharp pang went through my heart and the thought of him returning to the Volturi. After my cliff diving episode and the adventure that ensued from that, I was all too aware what Edward would do if I was to fulfill my mortality.

We didn't dare to move for what seemed like hours. I felt so safe and loved in his embrace and even though his body was cold, all my fears melted away. We stayed that way until my stomach stupidly rumbled.

"Hungry? When have you last eaten?"

I thought for a minute. "Lunch?" It seemed like it was a lifetime ago.

He moved me from his lap and set me down on the sofa next to him. I looked around and it was then that I realized we were in his room. The only light came from his desk lamp. I glanced out the wall of windows and saw the outline of tree branches silhouetted by the moonlight. My eyes narrowed as I attempted to see into the darkness. I felt ill at ease suddenly and wanted to desperately crawl back into his arms. There was some_thing_ out there waiting for me. I reached up and touched the cut on my neck and shuddered. Edward could see my unease and followed my gaze out the window. I saw him tense and then slowly relax. Had he sensed something? I was too afraid to ask.

"What time is it?" My eyes wandered back to Edward and I watched him scan the darkness. I figured it was late.

"Charlie!" I groaned. And then I paused, and my memory flickered. "Oh… luckily he is working the night shift tonight.." my voice trailed off as I lost my train of thought. I couldn't seem to focus.

Edward furrowed his eyebrows and studied me. "Well, that is good, because it saves us from explaining too much and it keeps him out of the house until we find out what is going on."

My heart skipped a beat. Charlie! Oh no, not again. I was constantly putting him in danger. How would we protect him this time? I tried to think it through, but I found it incredible hard to think clearly.

"Are you ok?"

_No_. "Yes."

His eyes met mine and he studied me with intensity. He was searching for something, trying to ascertain my wellness. The moments dragged on and I met his scrutiny with some agitation. I could not fully explain my swiftly growing distress. Was it because my thoughts were muddled? Or because I could not remember much about my attack?

_What was it he just asked me? Are you OK?_ What a _stupid_ question to ask me… am I ok? Isn't it obvious? I was just attacked once again by a vampire. Charlie and the Cullens were in danger, _once again_, because of me. My breathing came more quickly and I could feel the heat on my cheeks.

The simple fact that if Edward would just change me now, then all these issues with my sworn enemies would disappear. Well, for the most part at least. I would gain an enemy- Jacob. Just the thought of him brought a dull pain to my chest. It was no where near as deep as the physical pain I experienced when Edward had left, but it still hurt. The conversation that occurred earlier still haunted me.

Edward must have recognized the agitation growing on my face because he gingerly reached over to place my hand between his. He raised his eyebrows, prompting me to explain my shift in demeanor.

"No, Edward, I am not fine! I was just almost killed again. AGAIN! And… and, I cant remember what happened to me. My truck stopped, the tires were shredded, I heard a voice, then, then, nothing. NOTHING!"

I couldn't control my voice. I was quivering and my head started pounding again. I tried to stand up, but Edward held me securely in his arms.

"What happened to me? What did he do to me?" I shouted. I turned to Edward and was instantly sorrowed by the look of utter pain on his face. I tried to calm myself. I threw myself into his arms and sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry. It's not your fault." I whispered the apology into his chest.

"Don't be sorry. You were almost killed today. I almost lost you." He uttered the last part with such anguish that I had to shut my eyes tightly to prevent more tears from falling. If only he would change me, then I wouldn't be so… so vulnerable.

"Well, we already know that I am a magnet for danger. Usually _mortal_ danger." I stressed the word mortal. I sat up and looked into his eyes. Not seeing any Kleenex, I used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe my nose.

He sat there for a few moments. Various emotions flashed quickly over his face.

"Oh Bella," he sighed.

There was a growing feeling of restlessness, and once again I was at a loss to explain the sudden shift in emotion. The urge to run was overpowering. I could feel it in every fiber of my body. Adrenaline coursed through my limbs and I knew that if I didn't get out of this house I was going to implode. I shifted my seating position and looked across the room at the glowing green LCD; it was a little after 9pm. I stood up and paced to the other side of the room and back. I forced myself to sit down again next to Edward. He was watching me with incredible scrutiny. He reached over and held my hand.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my free hand. The all too familiar pressure was starting to build behind my forehead.

"I doubt this, but do you have any Tylenol?" I asked soflty.

"No. I should keep some here for you though." He removed a hand from mine and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Are you getting one of your headaches again?"

"Yeah. Maybe it is because I'm hungry." Sensing that this might be a good reason for me to return home, I added, "I should get home and get something to eat."

"Yes, I agree. I am not going to leave you alone though."

I got up from the sofa and started pacing. I was on the edge of panicking and I was not sure why. I knew that Edward would keep me safe, but I felt so ill at ease that I could not stand still. The walls were closing in on me and I felt as though a weight was beraing down upon my chest. The urge to run away was almost irresistible. But I was not sure where to run to. I looked out into the dark woods and felt a pull, as if someone was calling for me.

Just the thought of going into the woods made my headache hurt a little less. And that didn't make any sense to me whatsoever because going out into the woods should be the last place that I would find comfort.. _Maybe I am going mad_. Maybe I really did want it to end. I think it all finally started sinking in. _Another_ vampire was out to kill me. James, Laurent, the Volturi, and Victoria. And now this one. Was he acting alone or was he sent from Victoria or the Volturi? I could not, no matter how hard I tried, remember much of anything that my attacker said. I felt so useless.

I looked over at Edward and frowned at his worried expression. Once again, it seemed, I was endangering not only my immortal family, but also my all too mortal family. Would I be a target for the rest of my mortal life? Or for my immortal life? When would it ever end? I couldn't keep putting my family at risk. Especially Edward. I don't think that I could last even one day if he were to get himself killed because of me. My eyes welled with tears at that thought and my vision dimmed. A horrible sound echoed through the room and it startled me. I dropped to my knees but before I could fully collapse onto the floor, Edwards arms cradled me and eased me onto his lap. I sobbed uncontrollably into his shirt, soaking it in the saltwater of my tears. I grasped at his shirt and pulled my face closer to his hard, cold chest. Before long I was gasping for air and it was then I realized that the horrible sounds that I had been hearing were coming from me.

I was sure that my sanity balanced on a fine blade. I kept thinking to myself that I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep being the victim; the target. I must have been saying these out loud, because I remember hearing Edward reassure me that I wasn't alone and that he would never let anything happen to me again. I cried even more when I realized my thoughts were returning to my vampire attacker. Part of me yearned for him to finish me off to end his pain, to end the danger to those who I loved more than life itself. Edward continued to rock me gently as he quietly hummed my lullaby. My sobs eventually slowed and my eyes grew heavy as I felt myself succumb to the hope Edward's voice gave me and the sweet numbness of sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next memory I had was Edward carrying me up the stairs to my own bedroom. He softly laid me in my bed and covered me with my favorite quilt. He laid down next to me and he feathered my cheek and hair with soft kisses.

"Oh Bella, I love you so very much. Please don't be afraid. I promise that no one will harm you." He breathed his promises onto my skin as his lips moved softly around my face.

I turned myself so that I could look into his eyes and I slowly traced my fingers over his pale cheek. His dark eyes and the purple shadows under them told me that he did not get to hunt. I leaned in and gently brushed my lips against his. When a small groan escaped from him, I ran my fingers through his hair and deepened the kiss. His mouth answered mine and he parted my lips as we clung to each other. His hands ran down my side and he pulled me tighter into his cool body. I melted into him as I struggled to breathe. Edward gave me a chance to catch it as his lips moved down onto my neck. I gasped as I felt his nose skim my jaw line and his tongue dance along my neck. He stopped suddenly and sighed as he inhaled deeply. His whole body went rigid.

"Oh Bella."

He pulled back slightly so that he was once again looking into my eyes. I was breathing so heavily I thought I was going to either pass out from hyperventilation or embarrassment. His smoldering eyes seemed much darker than just a few minutes ago and I noticed that he was holding his breath. I managed a small smile and placed my hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes and turned his face into my hand.

"I love you, Edward," I murmured between gasps for air. And then I added, "I'm so very sorry." The pain that I seemed to cause him at every turn was unbearable. I couldn't even kiss him without him having to struggle. How could I deserve someone as good as Edward? It would be so much easier if he would just change me and all this wouldn't matter anymore. I wouldn't be so 'breakable', as Edward describes me. And I would be able to defend myself and not have to constantly place the Cullens' in danger.

A puzzled look came over Edward and he asked, "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about? I'm the one who failed you once again. It should be me who begs for _your_ forgiveness."

I shook my head slightly and closed my eyes. I could not think with those eyes staring into my soul.

I drew my breath in carefully and said, "I'm the one who is sorry. I keep getting into trouble and that in turn puts you, Carlisle, Esme, Alice and all the others I love in danger. All I have to do is merely exist and someone wants to kill me. Perhaps it is fate that is trying to adjust itself since you saved me from being squashed by that truck. I am beginning to think that I was right to begin with, my ticket is up."

He grasped my face between his hands and held me until I looked at him again. "Bella! Don't ever think that. _Please! _You are my life. My reason for my continued existence. It is my fault that your life is constantly threatened. I had thought that the best thing for you was for me to leave, but I was wrong. So very wrong. That was the worst mistake of my life and I will never do that to you again. I will be here as long as you want me and I will never let anything happen to you. Don't ever give up! Never give up! We will get through this. _Together_. Do you understand?"

All I could do was nod against his hands. Tears welled into my eyes once again, but I willed myself not to cry. My eyes focused on the dark purple shadows on his face.

"You didn't get to hunt, did you?"

"No. I didn't," he replied quietly. "Alice saw your attack just as we started our hunt. She called Carlisle to alert him and we started running back. We got home just a little after you fell asleep."

"You have to go hunt. Please. I hate to see you so uncomfortable." I did not want him to go, especially after what just happened. Yet, I knew that he had to go. Maybe I could agree to have the Cullen's babysit me again.

"I'm ok. It is tolerable."

I smiled softly at him. I loved him so much and I felt so undeserving. "Please. Go hunt. I hate to see you so…so…_tolerable_." I tried to make my plea lighthearted, but I think it failed. Edward's eyes swept over my face and he leaned over to kiss me lightly on the nose.

"No. I will be ok. I won't leave you alone again."

"You have to hunt, Edward. It's been so long since you have gone. Please. For me. I promise to stay locked up in my room. Or send me with Emmett or Alice. Please?"

This time he smiled. My heart instantly warmed as he lightly brushed his lips against mine. "Ok. I _will_ go hunt. In a couple of days. I'll get Alice to keep you company."

I realized that this was the only concession that I was going to get, so I agreed.

"I love you, my Bella. How do you feel? Does your head hurt still?"

I swallowed as I did a quick inventory of my physical state. My head still hurt, but being this close to Edward, in his arms, made the pain more bearable.

"It still hurts, but it's not as bad as before."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to his chest. "Sleep, my love," he murmured into my ear. A soft shudder went through me and I snuggled a little closer. Feeling truly safe for the first time all evening, I allowed my eyes to slowly close.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi all! I am almost finished with the end of the story… ____ Don't worry… there is still lots to go! I hope you all are enjoying it and please feel free to give any advice… or compliments! Thanks… Ann_

When I awoke in the morning, I found Edward sitting on the edge of my bed staring out the window. He seemed to be in deep thought as I watched various emotions flicker over his pale features. He slowly turned to me and brushed my cheek lightly with his hand.

"Good morning, love." He whispered. "How are you feeling?"

I thought for a moment about that and realized that physically I felt fine. However, I was still terrified about my attacker. Edward's presence helped, but the fear still lingered.

"Ok." I answered. "Tired. I don't think I slept well."

"No, I suppose you didn't. You did talk a lot in your sleep."

"What did I say?" I was instantly worried that I might have said something about Jacob. Or maybe about my attack. "Did I say anything about my attacker? I cant seem to remember anything that might help. Did anything I say help?" I was hopeful.

He shook his head. "No."

"Then what?" I asked. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know.

His mouth lifted into the small lopsided smile that I loved. "Well, you mainly called out for me."

"OK…" I waited, knowing that there was more.

"I have a question though. You promise to answer truthfully?"

My heart dropped. _He knows_. "Yes, Edward."

"Have you seen Jacob lately?" Edward's eyes turned cold at the utterance of Jake's name.

I could answer that honestly. "No."

"But, you have talked with him?"

I looked down and swallowed. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to," I mumbled. "But, I was afraid, then you went away, then last night…" I trailed off.

"You should have told me." He sat down next to me and lifted my chin with his finger. "Bella, please don't feel you have to hide things from me. I love you. I know that Jacob was there for you when I was not. He saved your life and for that, I will forever be grateful to him. He essentially gave me my heart back." I could tell from the tone of his voice that this was not easy for him to say.

He continued on. "I don't wish to take a friend away from you, honestly I don't. But my main purpose in my life, my responsibility, is to keep you safe. And happy. But a werewolf is not safe. A young one at that. Please, Bella, try to understand."

I studied my hands, trying to understand. Jacob was my dear friend, and though his absence from my life did not leave a gaping hole like when Edward left, I felt incomplete without him. I couldn't imagine trying to tell Edward that.

"Bella, please. Talk to me," he pleaded.

"Edward, I, don't know. He will always be just Jake to me. Not a werewolf. Just Jake. He was the reason why I was still here for you when you returned. He held me together when I could not. And it kills me to know that I have hurt him." I sighed, not knowing how what I said would effect him.

He stiffened slightly but relaxed when he exhaled loudly. "I'm sorry Bella. I can't let you see him. He hates me for what I am, for loving you and for you loving me. There is nothing that you can do, short of sending me away that will allow him peace in regards to you. The fact that you will become one of us, like me, will make you his enemy. You _will_ become his enemy just by your mere existence. Do you understand that?"

A tear traced a path down my cheek. A cold finger wiped it away. All I could do was nod. I knew that, deep down, I knew that Edward spoke the truth.

"Bella. I don't want to see you so sad. Just say the word, and I will leave. Your happiness is only second to your safety in my heart and in my eyes."

I shook my head rapidly back and forth. "No." The remnants of the hole in my chest just throbbed at the thought of Edward leaving again. "No, Edward. I need you. I would die without you. Don't you understand that?"

He answered my question with a puzzled expression. "But, can't you see that you cannot avoid hurting Jacob as long as you are with me?"

I nodded and leaned my forehead against his. "Yes. I guess I just wanted to convince him otherwise," I whispered.

He stood up from the bed and produced a crumpled paper from his pocket. He tentatively held it out to me. I un-crumpled the grey paper and my eyes grew wide when I saw who it was from. I recognized Jacob's scrawled handwriting and my heart skipped a beat. I skimmed over the short note and drew in a sharp breath.

Dear Bella,

Please be careful. While I was out walking in the woods, I came across the path of a wild animal. Do not go walking in the woods and stay close to safety. The pack of us will keep you informed and alert you to any sightings.

Take care and be well,

Your forever friend,

Jake

His coded language spoke loudly; he knew about my attacker. I looked anxiously at Edward for an explanation.

"He came by last night while you were asleep. The note was left on your truck. I heard him come, but I did not speak with him. I did hear his thoughts though, and it appears that while on patrol in the woods north of here he came across the scent of this other vampire. He came directly here and wanted to speak with you, but he knew I was here, so he left you the note."

"Oh." I tried to imagine Jake outside of my house and placing the note on my truck. Then I envisioned him fighting with the vampire. That thought sent shivers down my spine. Now I was not only endangering my family and my love, but now my best friend. Was this ever going to end?

I folded the note and dropped it on my nightstand. I stared at it for a minute and then stood up. I walked over to my closet and yanked a sweater and shirt off a hanger and threw them on my bed. My jeans were laid across the chair, so I tossed them onto the bed as I walked by. I went to my bureau to pick out my underwear, but I hesitated. I glanced over my shoulder at him. Edward was watching me with curiosity. I yanked open the drawer and threw my blue pair on the bed next to him.

"Bella?" He questioned.

"What? I feel totally useless, helpless and, and….just _less_. What else can I _do_ besides just _do? _Just me _being_ endangers everyone that I care about." A sob threaghtened to break forth, but I stifled it. I grabbed my towel and stomped off to the shower. "I'll be back."

The warm water ran out before my tears. I hoped the sound of the shower drowned out my sobs, but with Edwards hearing, that was doubtful. I quickly dressed and returned to my room. Edward was not there, but I heard some noise in the kitchen, so I headed downstairs. I was surprised to see Edward pouring a bowl of cereal. A smile broke through my resolve and I sat down at my usual place.

"What's this?"

He gave me a puzzled look. "Breakfast?"

"Well, yes, I see that," My grin grew wider when I noticed that he was wearing my blue apron. "And, you look very nice as well."

"Oh… well. Thank you. I thought that it might brighten your day a little. Juice?"

"Why, yes. Thank you." He poured the apple juice and then sat down next to me. He watched me as I ate.

"Mmmm…. Very good. Complements to the chef."

He quickly stood up and soon the apron was back on the refrigerator door. Charlie walked through the door carrying an empty coffee mug.

"Good morning Charlie." Edward stood next to me with his hand on my shoulder.

"Hi Dad," I chimed in.

Charlie looked surprised to see us. "Mornin' Bella," he muttered and then gave a curt nod to Edward.

Taking a second glance at Edward while he poured his cup of coffee, Charlie added, "Edward. I didn't hear you come in this morning."

I almost choked on my juice. I gave Charlie a look of consternation, but before I could answer, Edward spoke.

"Yes sir. I came in early this morning. We were quiet in hopes of not disturbing you since you worked all evening. I apologize if we woke you."

I considered his response and looked to Charlie to gauge his reaction.

"Oh, well, you did not wake me. I had trouble staying asleep. It was a very long shift. We spent most of the night searching the woods by the Three Creek camping site."

My heart lurched. "Why?"

"Oh, there is a hiker who was reported missing by his brother. He must have gotten lost, I believe. I mean, there haven't been anymore reports of wolves roaming around here. We'll continue this morning. We have some dogs coming from Port Angelos."

I felt Edward stiffen slightly.

"Dad. _You're_ not searching the woods, are you? I mean, shouldn't you be coordinating the efforts?" The worry in my voice betrayed my fears.

"Search and Rescue is heading the search. We're just the support and media liaison, if necessary . I'm not sure what we'll be doing from here on out." He looked at me for a moment and then he smiled. "You're worried about me? Don't be. I know the woods here like the back of my hand." He chuckled lightly as he walked out of the kitchen.

I abruptly stood up and emptied my bowl into the sink. My stomach started lurching. I gave Edward a worried look and he came up to me and held me.

"Don't worry love. We will take care of things," Edward whispered in my ear.

"It's happening again." My voice was shaky.

He grabbed my hand and led me out to his car. We drove in a nervous silence as we headed to the Cullen's home. My imagination ran wild as I ran through all the scenerios that laid ahead. Most all of them ended in the death of someone I loved and a few of them ended in my death. I much preferred the later as long as my curse of danger went to the grave with me.

We passed the place where my truck was disabled and my heart skipped a beat. Though the woods were a blur as we drove by, I thought that my eyes picked out a pale face staring out of the woods at me. I knew that it was impossible and that both my eyes and my mind were playing tricks on me, but I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. The urge to run was strong and I turned my face away from the window. For the next few minutes I forced myself to stare at the dashboard. Eventually I gave into my yearning to look out into the woods. My heart quickened as my eyes darted back and forth scanning the forest. Edward must have heard my anxiety because at that moment he reached over and squeezed my hand. I turned and afforded him a quick smile before returning my search of the woods. I was growing increasingly restless. I found myself needing to see that face again. It was then that I realized that I was wanting to find that mysterious, horrible face. But why? Shouldn't I be wanting to hide or run away screaming at such a horrible monster? Before I could ponder such paradoxes, Edward turned quickly up the drive that led to his home.

The only one home was Esme. Rosalie and Emmett were out hunting and Carlisle was at the hospital. Jasper and Alice were due home later that day from their own hunting trip. Esme sat with us for a while and I could tell that she longed to help ease my worry and pain. She was so compassionate and loving that it was difficult to remember that she was a vampire. It was only when I observed her pale skin or the purplish shadows under her eyes and her deathly cold hands did I remember that she was no longer counted among the humans. I thought sadly that she would have made a wonderful mother.

She eventually left Edward and me alone, so we went up to his room to listen to some music. I found that I could not sit still, so I wondered around his room aimlessly. He just sat there on his sofa watching me with some amusement and a lot of worry. He tried to relieve my anxiety but I was not able to oblige him. My deliberations were dark and my thinking muddled. I repeatedly looked out the window but dusk made it difficult to discern anything beyond tree trunks and branches. I knew that he was out there and despite the fact that I was sure that he meant to kill me, I found myself not entirely frightened by him. And that was the thing that was most alarming and terrifying to me. Why wasn't I terrified to see him again? It was as if I was actually wanting to see him again. _Wanting?_ Wasn't that a strong term? Was I truly eager for my own horrible death? Yet I could not deny that I the urge to run out of Edwards house and search out my attacker was growing stronger by the hour. My head started to throb and my pace slowed a bit. The pain dulled my need to run, but not entirely.

"Are you ok? You appear to be quite anxious," Edward finally asked.

I stopped for a moment and turned my back on him to gaze out the window. I saw his reflection in the window, but I looked through the image to focus my eyes in the dark void behind it. Only I knew that it wasn't a total void. He was waiting for me. I took a step toward the window before I stopped myself and turned to face Edward.

"I think so. Just nervous. Anxious. I don't know…"

My voice faded and I sat with a sigh on the chair next to me. I was also worried about Jacob, but I didn't want to mention this to Edward anymore than I wanted to talk to him about my claustrophobic feelings and my need to run into the woods. Both things would put undue stress on him. I wanted badly to call Jacob and tell him to leave this whole matter alone. I wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to him because of me. Were all my friends and loved ones doomed because of me?

"Nothing is going to happen to you. Please believe me. I would surely die, cease to exist, before anything should harm you." His eyes burned with a dark intensity that forced a shiver down my back.

I got up and settled next Edward. He placed his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on his chest. Even through his sweater I could feel the coolness radiating from him. My eyes grew heavy and I allowed myself to fall asleep. But my sleep was not comforting; since I was not able to search the woods while I was awake, I was forced to endure that mission while asleep.

Edward brought me home before Charlie came home from the night shift he was working. Before falling asleep, I peeked at the alarm clock and realized with some relief that there was not much more time before I would have to get up to go to school. Sleep no longer seemed to bring me comfort. He stayed with me the entire night during my restless slumber. My dreams were filled with my attacker, but I found myself not fearing him, but seeking him out. A name kept repeating in my mind, but I was not certain how I knew it or to whom it belonged to. I could only assume that it was somehow connected to the vampire who haunted me.

Edward's gentle kisses on my neck woke me in the morning. He was stretched out behind me and held me close to his cold body.

"Is it morning already?" I whimpered.

I rolled onto my back and gazed at the ceiling. Parts of my dreams replayed in my head and I found myself feeling too guilty to look Edward in the face. My dreams confused me. They did not follow logic. Why would I have such thoughts, such fantasies, as I did about a vampire that is out to kill me? His face filled my imagination and I became more and more obsessed with him as the hours progressed. I felt as if I was betraying my love. And I was. My dreams and fantasies were filled with Edward just days ago and then I was attacked by a vampire and now for some absurd reason this evil _bloodsucker_ replaced my love as the object of my thoughts. How utterly maddening. Has this recent attack finally pushed my psyche over the edge of reason into insanity? Was I subconsciously wishing for a final death, not one where I would come back as a vampire, but one that would doom me to forever be parted from my Edward?

Edward's groan brought me out of my self analysis.

Still staring at the ceiling, I asked, "What?"

"I don't think I will ever feel comfortable with the fact that I cannot read your thoughts," he sighed. "I have been watching you for the past five minutes and you have had such interesting expressions come across your face and I haven't a clue what they are for. You seem upset or frustrated."

I sighed heavily.

We were silent for a while. I pondered the various shades of white on my ceiling while Edward pondered me. I was thankful once again for my private mind.

"Who is Samuel?" Edward softly asked.

My heart stopped and my body went rigid. _The name from my dreams…_

"Bella, are you ok?" he questioned. His voice was filled with alarm.

"I don't know," I answered.

"You don't know how you feel, or you don't know a Samuel?"

"I don't know a Samuel," I lied. "Why do you ask?" I already knew the answer to that question. I wished I could keep my mouth shut while I slept.

"You spoke that name while you slept."

"Oh."

"A lot"

"Aaahhhhh."

He stroked my cheek with his cool hand and I closed my eyes. I didn't need to see his eyes to know that they were filled with worry for me.

Edward left a short while later and would be returning shortly to pick me up from school. I showered and dressed on auto-pilot. Besides this Samuel—I could only assume that was my stalker's name—Jacob came to mind. I stared at the phone for a few minutes trying to work up the courage to call him.

I finally picked up the phone and dialed. I held my breath while the phone rang. Jacob's husky voice answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Jacob?"

"Bella? Are you ok? Did you get my message? Did that _bloodsucker_ of yours show it to you?"

"Yes. _Edward_ did." I stressed his name.

Jacob grunted in response.

"Listen. I don't have much time. I wanted to ask you to stay away. Please don't try to do anything brave or stupid."

He laughed harshly. "Really Bella. Give me some credit. Do you really think that stinking bloodsucker can hurt me?"

My anger flared once again. "Argh. Just stay away. I don't need or want your help. You are not going to get hurt because of me. Do you understand?"

I heard nothing on the other end and I thought that he had hung up on me.

"Well? Hello? Jacob?" I snapped.

"Yes."

I softened my tone. "Listen. I don't want you to get hurt, Jake. Not on my account. It's frustrating. You don't want to hang out with me, yet you are willing to risk your life to guard me. I don't understand."

He sighed. "It's not just about you. It is what we do. But for me, a lot of it _is_ about you. I, uh, I… care about you a lot. Much more than you know and much more than even I wish for. Especially now." He stopped suddenly and I heard him draw a few deep breaths. Was he crying?

"Jacob?"

"I have to go now Bella. Don't worry." He paused and I heard the phone move around a bit. "And please remember that I will always be here for you. If you ever need me, I will be right here. Bye Bella."

I heard a click, but I said goodbye anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi all! I am really enjoying this story. It has a life of its own and soon I will tie in some of the classic vampire elements with Stephenie's lore. -- Ann_

Chemistry had just begun, but I was already watching the clock. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour and the last thing that I could concentrate on was whatever Mr. Albertson was droning on about. But for once I was not being distracted by Edward, or at least by my typical daydreams about him. This time, for the first time since Edward returned to me, my thoughts were filled with the images of another creature. I was thankful, once again, that he could not read my mind. I struggled internally to turn my thoughts towards Edward, but the effort was in vain. I couldn't stop thinking about my encounter with the vampire. My memory of the event was cloudy and that in itself frustrated me. I could recall perfectly my 10th birthday party, yet my recall of the events yesterday was foggy at best. I remember losing control of my truck, and hearing my name being called from the woods. I can clearly see myself turning around and confronting the vampire. I remember right up to the point where he touched me. The fear that I felt then was still tangible. My memories after that point until Esme and Carlisle rescued me are vague. The strangest thing is that even though the exact events of that time are missing to me, the feelings that I felt, or at least I think that I felt, are very real to me. And it is those feelings paired with the vision of the vampire's face that are currently disturbing my thoughts.

Coming back to reality, I glanced at the board to see that I missed at least two pages of notes and formulas. I tried to write the first formula down on my blank notebook page but the point of my pencil was missing. I tossed the pencil down and sighed. I looked over at Edward and he was studying me with concern. I quickly looked away. I really did not want Edward to start worrying about me.

I closed my eyes and saw _his_ face again. His reddish black eyes stared back at me through wisps of black hair. Though his eyes were very intense, I managed to break my gaze and let my memory explore his angular pale face. His lips were a violet hue and slightly parted. I had a strong urge to reach out and touch his porcelain face. My breath caught in my throat and a strange tingling sensation flowed over my body. In my imagination I allowed myself to follow my urges and caress his face. I could actually feel the coldness on my fingertips as I followed his cheek down to his lips. His skin was as smooth and firm as Edwards, but my reaction to this new vampire was different. When I touched Edward, even though his skin is cold, my finger tips always felt hot, almost burning. In my mind, when I touch this phantom face, my fingertips remained cold, yet the burning sensation was felt through out my body. When I pull my hand away, a painful twinge shot through my arm and into my head. I stopped my imaginary retreat and reach again for him and brush a wisp of hair from his forehead. The pain instantly stopped and that tingling, burning sensation swept my body. It was hard for me to imagine a more pleasant feeling. My body seemed to yearn for what this vampire could offer me. But what could he offer me besides death? And why was I feeling this way? It was patently absurd.

A sudden jolt to my chair caused me to snap back to reality. Edward had kicked my seat. I threw Edward an annoyed glance without turning my head. My heart was beating erratically and I could feel a fine layer of sweat on my face. The clock above the door ticked slowly and the walls started closing in on me. It took all my effort not to bolt from the room as fast as my human feet could carry me. My eyes flitted around the room. The woods outside the window caught my attention and a shiver went down my spine. What was wrong? I could not shake the feeling of impending doom and I could not discern any tangible reason for the weight settling on my chest. Breathing became difficult. I turned towards Edward and he could see the look of panic in my eyes. His hand moved to mine and for once, the coolness of his skin did little to calm me. My head started to pound and I felt as though I would slowly suffocate. Closing my eyes was not an option because I knew that the blackness would fade into his face again. Sensing my growing panic he squeezed my hand lightly.

"Ionic bonding" Edward urgently whispered.

I threw him a questioning look. It was then that I heard Mr. Albertson's grating voice.

"Isabella," his voice bellowed. "What kind of bonding is demonstrated by the molecule on the board?"

I glanced down instinctively and then to the board. My eyes scanned the scanned the board for a clue, but I had no idea which molecule he was talking about.

"Uh, ionic bonding?" I mumbled.

"Is that a question? Or is that your answer?" Mr. Albertson asked impatiently. "Or would you rather go back to daydreaming?"

I desperately needed to run away. I quickly glanced towards the door before answering. "My answer."

"And that would be correct, the next…"

I didn't let him finish. "Uh, Mr. Albertson?"

He sighed. "Yes, Isabella?"

I made sure my voice was as weak as I felt. I am sure that the way I looked would be enough to convince him I was surely about to pass out. "I'm not feeling very well. Can I go to the nurse?" I had no intention of going to the infirmiry. I just needed to get out of the room before I was crushed.

"There is only fifteen more minutes left. Can you wait that long?"

"No!" I answered a little too urgently. I took it down a notch. "Um, I think I might have to throw up." I lied.

"Ok… go… just make sure you go straight there."

I slid my hand from Edward's and purposely avoided looking at him. I quickly gathered my books and was about to bolt for the door when Edward caught my wrist in his hand.

Edward's voice echoed rather loudly around the room. "Mr. Albertson? I think I need to escort Bella to the nurse. I don't think she looks too well." His eyes never left mine.

Mr. Albertson looked back over his shoulder and responded with a simple no.

Edward refused to release me hand. I could see the struggle in his eyes and he got up to walk out with me.

"Edward! Please sit down! Isabella is more than capable of walking herself to the nurses office one building away." Mr. Albertson was about to lose his temper.

Edward sat back down again and narrowed his eyes at me. He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Don't go. Please. Wait." His breath tickled my ear, but the need to run was stronger now than ever.

"I..I..I can't," I stammered. I managed to slip my arm from his grasp and rushed towards the door. I stumbled over Mike's book bag but managed to catch myself before falling. The door slammed shut behind me as I ran toward the common area.

I turned toward the infirmary, but then changed direction and sprinted toward the far corner of the science building. I knew it was only a matter of minutes, or less, that Edward would be out the door looking for me. He was probably at that moment searching other people's thoughts trying to locate me. But, for some reason, I did not want him to find me. I felt as though I needed to run from everything, even him. Or was I running towards something? The thought of that sent a chill down my body. Once again, I asked myself what was wrong with me? I leaned against the cool bricks and let the rough texture rest against my sweating forehead. I peered over at the woods and felt that odd tingling sensation once again. Waves of pleasure ran through me as I dropped my book bag and walked with uncertainty toward the forest.

I stopped myself under a giant fir tree at the edge of the woods. My mind screamed for me to turn and run for my life, but my senses battled this logic and I stood still. What I _felt_ that I wanted more than anything, more than life itself, was to walk into those woods. But what I _thought _was that I would never see Edward or Charlie again if I went any further and I was sure that my inevitable death would be painful at best. So, I stood there, waging this internal battle for what seemed like an eternity.

Suddenly my head started throbbing and waves of nausea swept over me. I instinctively stumbled forward through the brush, taking small steps, still unsure of what laid ahead. Somehow I knew that if I went forward that this pain would subside. And it did. I made my way though the brush, guided by an unseen force. I looked back and the school was no longer visible. My mind screamed for Edward… for me to run back… to shout for help, but my body continued on. At a small clearing I stopped and waited.

"Bella….," a voice whispered.

I turned in a small circle, unsure of where the sound came from. I startled a little when I felt two cold hands grasp my shoulders from behind. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes as that tingling sensation coursed through my body. I relaxed against his hold and leaned into him.

"Ahhh… yes," he murmured. "You remembered. I knew you would. I knew you would come to me when I called. You have to realize that you can't resist."

He moved one arm around my waist and pulled me close to him as his other hand gently moved my hair from my neck. My eyes shot open. I could not move nor speak. The breeze tickled my face and I became aware of the earthly fragrance of the green vegetation. I could see the trees surrounding us, but I found that I could not focus my eyes clearly. Fear coursed through me and I found it hard to hear him over the pounding of my heart. _Edward, please forgive me. I am so sorry. _

He inhaled deeply as his nose skimmed my neck. I shuddered as my breath caught in my throat

"You scent is heavenly. And you taste just as perfect," he murmured. I felt a sting on my neck and I moaned. My body ached for him to take me, to do what he wanted. He felt me yield to him and he chuckled. This must be what a drug addict feels when they finally get their fix.

I felt a fine line of blood trickle down my neck. The familiar metallic aroma of blood did not cause the usual nausea. Instead, I found the smell incredibly intoxicating. I stiffened.

"Ahhh… yes. You can smell it too, can't you? Doesn't it make your mouth water?"

It did. My mind screamed that this was all wrong…that I was supposed to faint at blood, that this wasn't normal… it wasn't human. But the intoxication was almost complete. I was unable to resist.

I managed to get out one word. "Why?"

Another soft chuckle and he tightened his grip around my waist. "Because, Bella, you are mine. Your life is in my hands and I can do whatever I wish with you. I was supposed to come here to take you life. Instead I want to possess it."

He turned me around to face him. I looked down at his shirt, afraid to look at him. He was wearing a black t-shirt that contrasted sharply with his ashen skin. He lifted my chin so that his eyes were inches from mine. I immediately became entranced by his dark penetrating eyes.

"You see, I have been following you for a couple of weeks. I cannot read thoughts like your precious Edward, but I can read emotions."

The smell of his cool breath mixed with the scent of my blood drove me insane.

"And you, Bella, are a very passionate woman. I find that… irresistible. I can see what Edward sees in you. But what I can't understand is why he does not possess you. I know that you want it. Eternal life. I can give that to you. But not yet." He stared into my soul with his dark eyes, never blinking. "No… you need to give everything up for me. Until then, I cannot possess you. Forever. I know that you will return to me. You need me, don't you?"

I was physically unable to speak. He lightly brushed his lips against mine. I sighed and leaned into his embrace. His lips moved down to my neck and his cold tongue licked the small wound on my neck. I felt as his teeth nipped against the wound. His body immediately became rigid and he sighed. Instant jolts of electricity flowed through my body and every nerve was on fire. My whole body was in a state of excitement. Though my brain was screaming for me to pull away, my body did just the opposite. I moaned and weaved my hands into his hair. I could once again hear Edwards voice in my head frantically urging me to pull away. _Run. Scream. Fight it. Don't give in. Please_.

We were frozen in that morbid embrace for what seemed like a long time. Dizziness soon made it hard for me to think and I could only feel. Edward's voice faded in the distance of my vanishing memory.

He wretched away from me and stumbled back a few steps. Instantly my body shivered and the feelings of euphoria slowly faded. I wrapped my arms around myself and I tried to control my erratic breathing. I sank to my knees and rested my head in my hands, trying to stop the forest from spinning.

"Bella," he groaned. "I need you…"

As I sat there in the woods, my thoughts buzzed wildly and I tried to make sense of what was happening to me. He needed me… but it felt exactly the other way around. I needed him. When I was near him, for whatever God forsaken reason, I felt unbelievably good. My whole body became alive with pleasure. I craved it. Why couldn't Edward make me feel this way?

He suddenly appeared before me, kneeling down so that he was once again face to face with me. His thumb brushed over the small wound in my neck. An intense burning sensation spread up and down my neck. My mind repeated _venom _over and over again, but this burning did not cause pain, but pleasure.

"No pain, Bella. No pain with me," he whispered. He kissed me lightly on the lips and pulled away.

I licked my lips and the small amount of my blood that he left there made my mouth water. My hand flew to my mouth as I savored the forbidden flavor. My heart pounded irregularly.

He looked around the forest quickly. "I have to go now. Go back to school. But return when I call. I know that you will return to me Bella." He looked deep into my eyes. "You will return to your Samuel."

And then he was gone. My arms started shaking as I staggered to my feet. Following his directions, I blindly stumbled back to school. My mind was racing. What had just happened? Who was Samuel? Why did he want me? But more importantly, why did I want him? What was he doing to me? Why did I react to blood like that? Was I becoming a vampire? The thought of that made me shiver. That was what I had wanted the past year, isn't it? But not this way… not without Edward or the Cullens.

I recalled the time when Edward tried to explain to me what it was like to crave my blood. He had said that it was like a heroin addict trying not to indulge in his brand of heroin. Addiction. Was I becoming addicted? But how? To what?

The further I stumbled toward the clearing ahead of me that I assumed was the common area of Forks High School, the more my thoughts became jumbled and the more it was difficult to recall the events that only just took place. I still could feel the euphoria and for once in a long time my head did not pound. Once I broke through the canopy of the forest, I staggered a few more steps before sinking into the cool damp grass. I drew my knees up and rested my chin on them. I slowly rocked myself back and forth and warm tears streamed down my cheeks. Despite the fact that my body tingled with what I could only describe as pleasure, I was scared and didn't know what was happening. I glanced quickly at the woods and a feeling of guilt washed over me, though I could not recall why. I felt violated. I closed my eyes and wished fervently that I simply would cease to exist.


End file.
